Ben Chatham in "THE WEDDING OF BEN CHATHAM"

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Re: Ben Chatham in "THE WEDDING OF BEN CHATHAM"

Post by sparacus on Sun Jan 08, 2012 1:01 pm


Ok, here is the next part of this major Doctor Who spin off story folks:

"THE WEDDING OF BEN CHATHAM Part 4


Ben Chatham drove through the bustling streets and dreaming spires of Cambridge. It had been a week since his new year proposal to Emma, who was now sitting in the car next to him, an engagement ring on her finger. She stared longingly at Ben, fixing on his smooth neck and rose-petal lips. She imagined him kissing her all over and caressing her pert nipples. Ben stopped the car outside his apartment.
"Are you ok Ben?" Emma asked.
"No. I'm nervous about seeing my apartment for the first time since it was raided. Knowing the police they will have damaged some of the items inside".
"Brave heart Ben!" Emma said, squeezing Ben's knee. They got out of the car, went to the door and rang. Luigi answered and they went in, seeing Kyle and Katie. Ben stared around horrified.
"Where are my expensive David Hockney reproductions? And what the hell has happened to the carpet?" Katie stood up:
"Look Ben I did warn you. The police ripped the backs off the paintings looking for concealed documents. And the carpet was ripped up to search for then too." Ben's eyes filled with tears:
"That carpet was fitted by Hashmere and Ashtons and cost £150 a square metre." Ben went over to Kyle who had two black eyes and a swollen face:
"How are you feeling Kyle? It is absolutely outrageous what they did to you."
"Yeah I'm on the mend like. Bleedin' coppers!"
"That is not the correct attitude to take Kyle. The police do an invaluable job in maintaining law and order. However there is clearly a rogue element involved with whoever is trying to discredit us".
Meanwhile Katie notices Emma's ring:
"So its true then? You're engaged to this little airhead". Ben is irritated:
"If you have nothing positive to say Katie then please leave. Emma is my wife to be and I will not have you insulting her."
"Fine" Katie shouted, flouncing out of the apartment and slamming the door.

Later as Emma assisted Luigi in preparing dinner, Kyle and Ben enjoyed a beer and a brandy respectively.
"Ere Ben are you really sure you're doin' the right thing gettin' married like. I mean you bein' gay like."
"I don't want to discuss it Kyle. And I'm still annoyed that you used this apartment to store goods stolen during the summer riots." Ben responded.
"It was only the flatscreen telly an' blu-ray player."
"Your criminal behaviour allowed whoever is behind this a grain of truth which they could embelish and exaggerate. And please don't question my marriage".
"I'm only tryin' to help like. I mean if you're bein forced into summat that ain't right for you......"
"I don't like talking about this. Please refrain from calling me gay Kyle. I'm not, I'm just a heterosexual male who sleeps mainly with people of his own gender." Kyle looks puzzled:
"Thats bollocks Ben. This ain't like you. "
"Shut it Kyle!" Ben shouts.

The next day Ben drives to London where he has called an emergency meeting of the Operation Delta team in their ransacked HQ. Fortunately the meeting room furniture is still in situe and Ben plugs his new top of the range £5000laptop, purchased two days before, into the powerpoint projector.
"Please desist from speaking while I outline our situation. This organisation is in crisis. I have had my good name soiled in the press and our funding has ceased. We as an organisation have been accused of financial corruption, violent disorder, drugs offences and most recently of plotting with terrorist groups. We are in serious financial trouble."
"Hey man, like when the fascists let me go they said they were gonna make sure we never took on another investigation man . What a bummer. Are we gonna wind up the group?" Shakey Jake says.
"No Jake we are not. And please don't interrupt. I have a plan which may well both restore our positive public image and provide a source of independent income. The Doctor suggested it to me. We are going to record a charity fundraising album and single. Think Band Aid 1984. Yesterday Paul and Corinne wrote on my behalf to a good range of major musicians and artists asking for their help. Linking us to such artists will restore the public's positive view of Operation Delta." There is muttering among the team:
"Which major artists have they written to?" Katie asks.
"A whole host. But they include Simon Cowell and Bob Geldof, who will oversee the project, Coldplay, Robbie Williams, Madonna and lots more".

A few days later, Ben arrives at Hammersmith Recording Studios in London which he has booked for preliminary rehearsals. Paul Farraday and Corinne Shaw are waiting for him.
"Hi guys. So who are we expecting to come along today? I've got a list of possible songs to try." Paul frowns:
"Its not good news I'm afraid Ben. We've had rejections from most of the artists we contacted. We did have high hopes for Coldplay but their agent rang this morning saying no."
"What about Robbie? He sent me an email earlier in the week saying he'd come".
"Cancelled last night As did Will Young .And Simon Cowell and Bob Geldof both said no".
"So how many are coming then?"
"Just Bowie".
"I knew David wouldn't let me down. But how the hell can we record an album without a band? Maybe David will bring one with him." As he speaks, Ben's mobile rings:
"Hello, this is Ben Chatham. Oh hi David, are you on your way? Oh! Throat infection? Can't you come along anyway? Oh ok." Ben throws the phone down.
"He's not coming. But he said we could use any of his superlative back catalogue so all is not lost. But we've now got no artists to sing them."
Ben's eyes filled with tears as Katie strode in.
"Have we had any luck with the producers Katie?" he asked her, wiping the tears from his dark, dreamy eyes:
"Lots of rejections but two firm offers from Phil Spector and Jonathan King".
"Phil Spector? Didn't he work with the Beatles. We'll have him". Corinne intervenes:
"Hang on Ben. He's in prison in America."
"Well can't they release him? This is important".
"They won't do that" Corinne replied. Ben stared at her angrily:
"What so they keep him locked up for some minor crime while my organisation goes down the drain? Typical Americans. Well I'm not giving up. We will release the album."
"How?" Katie asks.
"By recording it ourselves. WE will become the band.........................."

........... to be continued.

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Re: Ben Chatham in "THE WEDDING OF BEN CHATHAM"

Post by lucy_who on Sun Jan 08, 2012 2:26 pm

Hooray!

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Re: Ben Chatham in "THE WEDDING OF BEN CHATHAM"

Post by Nick Barlow on Wed Jan 11, 2012 4:20 am

I'm trying to work out how disturbed I should be at discovering that the Ben Chatham Adventures have a TV Tropes page.

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Re: Ben Chatham in "THE WEDDING OF BEN CHATHAM"

Post by sparacus on Sun Jan 15, 2012 6:03 am

OK people: here is the gripping fifth part of this sci-fi mystery:

"THE WEDDING OF BEN CHATHAM" Part 5


Later that day Ben returned to his Cambridge apartment brimming with excitement. He had drawn up an initial tracklist for the album and a few quick phone calls had ensured that work could begin at the studios the next day. However as Ben drove into his street he noticed something was wrong. A large group of youths were standing in the street hurling chunks of brick and other objects as the apartment windows as a line of riot police tried to hold them back .Ben drove down a side street and switched his mobile on. He had recieved several texts while driving which warned him not to go home. He immediately rang Katie:
"Katie what the hell is going on?" Katie sounded agitated:
"Ben why the hell has your phone been off? Have you seen the news?"
"I've been driving obviously. I am a highly responsible individual. Now that are you babbling about Katie?"
"This is really ¤¤¤¤ing serious Ben . The police have arrested Kyle again. Its all over the internet that he's the Cambridge Nightstalker!"
Ben remembered that several months ago four bodies of teenage girls had been found around Cambridge with their throats cut having been interfered with. It had been all over the media however the attention had started to die down. He quickly went onto the BBC news website on his cutting edge I -Phone:

NIGHTSTALKER NAMED

Police have today arrested a new suspect in the ongoing hunt for the so-called Cambridge Nightstalker, suspected of the murder of four teenagers. The suspect is Kyle Barry Scott who has been living in an exclusive penthouse apartment in Rushmere Street Cambridge. The detective leading the investigation, Steve Jackson, has gone on record as saying:
"Scott has been living with discredited self-appointed alien investigator Ben Chatham who has made every effort to harbour him. We have found material on several laptops siezed from the apartment in another investigation which link Scott to the killings. It is the worst visual evidence I have ever had to view in 25 years on the force......"

Ben throws down his phone in a shocked state as his car is surrounded by police officers. He hears the window smash on his right side then everything goes blank...............

The dim sense of perception slowly filtered into Ben's mind as he slowly drifted back into consciousness. He gradually focused on the familiar decor of Katie Ryan's flat and felt pain all over his chest and a stabbing sensation in his head. He realised he was lying on her leather sofa and saw Corinne Shaw, Paul Farraday and Katie herself.
"Whaaa What happened?" he mumbled. Katie knelt by him:
"The police beat you up and then drove you here and dumped you on the pavement outside."
"None of this.... It just doesn't make sense. Why not arrest me if they think I've been sheltering a killer?" Corinne approached:
"Ben what is going on here has to be more than just an attempt to destroy Operation Delta. Otherwise they could indeed have just charged you with being an accessory to murder and have done with it. Its like you are being played with. Whoever is behind this wants you to suffer in some drawn out process. And they've clearly got it in for Kyle bigtime. Can you think of any case that you and Kyle have personally led which might have given someone or something a desire for revenge?"
Ben stares angrily at her:
"What kind of a stupid question is that? I can think of an endless lot of cases like that. Where the hell do we start with this? I can't go on."
Ben sinks back in a despondent state and shuts his eyes. His body is shaking. Paul lights a cigarette and approaches:
"Ben you have to try and think. Whoever is behind this is capable of controlling enough people in power to allow the police to operate outside the law and to control the main media outlets. Try to give us something. Has any specific threat of vengeance been made against you and Kyle?" Ben opens his eyes again and tries to think back:
"A year or so ago there was that incident when we helped Torchwood unearth a Slitheen plot to infiltrate the Ministry of Defence. They were killed and one of them said before he died that the rest of his family would come and seek me out ....."
"Thats a start. Any more?"
"I remember Kyle and I being threatened by that corrupt scientist who was using technology from a Kronan warship that crashed in Scotland to try and create duplicates of himself and his family that were incapeable of aging. Torchwood destroyed the duplicates and he vowed revenge. But he's in prison."
"Hmmm. Plots can be hatched from prison. That it Ben?"
"I think so... apart from that business over Limetree Grange".
"Go on".
"We were investigating the disappearance of some children at a home in Oxfordshire. Some woman came to us claiming that the kids were being used in experiments to do with the military and that aliens were involved. We didn't take it seriously and when Kyle and I visited the place the kids seemed happy. She turned nasty and said that we were involved in the plot. She was the mum of one of the kids that had been taken into care. You could see why by the look of her; she was on heroin and I dread to think what else. Paid for by prostitution. She threatened to kill me and Kyle. Kyle wanted to investigate further but I said no. The woman was an obvious fantasist."
Paul thought carefully:
"Well at least thats three possible leads. How long ago was the last case?"
"Oh only a few months. I should remember the woman's name ..... Baldwin... Lisa Baldwin."
"Well we'll try to look into these cases and see what we can unearth. You get some rest Ben."
Ben sank back on the sofa and let sleep engulf him."

A few hours later Ben awoke to the sound of voices in the next room.
".....but I must see him. I simply must...."
"Look you idiot Ben is too unwell. ¤¤¤¤ off" Ben heard Katie shout.
"Miss Ryan, I have the greatest admiration for you but please don't instruct me to ¤¤¤¤ off....."
"Who is it Katie?" Ben shouted. The door flew open and in strode......................

............Ian Levine.
"Ben I simply had to see you. I've written some new lyrics for your up and coming album. I have followed all of your adventures and have built up an extensive personal collection of memorabilia . It is because of me that the glass that you sipped absinthe from on your last night in Italy was saved from being thrown away after the waiter cracked it. I am solely responsible for saving it and paid £500 to get it." Ben sighed and his dark eyes filled with tears:
"Why bother? My life is ruined. Its all over. Everyone thinks I harbour child killers and Kyle.... why didn't I treat him better? He's probably being beaten to death in some cell. I'm finished."
"I don't care what anyone thinks. I believe in you Ben. When my good friend Keith Smith told me you were recording an album I just knew I had to be involved. I have in my hand the lyrics to side one track one: "Operation Delta in Distress".
Ian sings the lyrics to Ben while Katie laughs in the background. Ben sits up:
"I'm pleased that someone out there still believes in me and in Operation Delta. Maybe there is a point in going on........................"


.................. to be continued.

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Re: Ben Chatham in "THE WEDDING OF BEN CHATHAM"

Post by The Co=Ordinator on Sun Jan 15, 2012 7:24 am

sparacus wrote:Ben remembered that several months ago four bodies of teenage girls had been found around Cambridge with their throats cut having been interfered with.

Such prose.


The door flew open and in strode......................

............Ian Levine.

Blimey!


"Operation Delta in Distress".

In the name of all that is Holy, please no...............................................

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Re: Ben Chatham in "THE WEDDING OF BEN CHATHAM"

Post by sparacus on Fri Jan 27, 2012 12:10 pm



OK people: your evening entertainment starts right here! Its the next part of this major story:

"THE WEDDING OF BEN CHATHAM" Part 6

Inspired by Ian Levine's faith in him, Ben wakes up the following day determined to get to the bottom of the mystery and turn things around. He drives his vintage car out into the Cambridgeshire countryside as its a sunny morning and Ben finds country drives rejuvenating. Then he drives to Operation Delta HQ to meet with Paul and Corinne. In the meetings room, Ben sips a cup of exclusive Blue Ridge Columbian coffee and stares at Paul:
"Any news on the three cases we talked about?" he asks. Paul frowns:
"Not really. We've pretty much drawn a blank. I think we can assume that the Slitheen case is nothing to do with this. According to Jack Harkness the vengeful Slitheen that escaped did return to try and destroy Torchwood but was killed in Cardiff. And the corrupt scientist in prison, a Dr Herrigan, died there three months ago of a heart attack. As for this Lisa Baldwin woman, she seems to have vanished. The odd thing though is that she really has vanished, as if she never existed. There are no written records of her, no internet trail, facebook profile.... nothing. Are you sure you got the name right Ben?"
"Of course I'm damn well sure. You need to keep digging on this one. People don't just vanish in the modern world. What about her mobile phone details?"
"We contacted all the major providers and used Torchwood's authority to force them to come clean. Again a complete blank. We went through all the Lisa Baldwin's and none fit the profile you gave us". Ben frowns.
"I am now suspicious. You keep working on this while I engage with the other developing strands within my life".

Ben drove to the recording studios in Hammersmith with Corinne to meet with Katie, Shakey Jake and the producer Jonathan King. Entering the studio, Ben was pleased to see that work was starting on laying down backing tracks . Jake was playing a meandering guitar solo for 'Bleeding Love' while a session drummer named Loz had been hired as a temporary measure. Loz banged away behind Corinne who had grabbed her flute. Jonathan King bustled over:
"I'm so delighted to meet you dear boy *ruffles Ben's hair*. I've worked with the Doctor and he speaks very highly of you." Ben frowns:
"I expect you to mix the album so that my vocals stand out. I don't want the musicians to swamp me."
"Have no fear dear boy. I'm simply wild about your vocal potential." Jake comes over and offers Ben a massive spliff:
"Hey man I've laid down some really groovy licks man. Far out".
"This is a pop album Jake not some ghastly 1960s psychedelic type thing" Ben verbally ejaculates. Then he walks over to the mike and begins to sing 'Bleeding Love', followed by 'Good Morning Universe'. Everyone in the studio stands transfixed by the beauty and perfection of Ben's sublime vocals.

Later, Ben takes Emma Cole out to an exclusive restaurant in London. Everyone is dressed in formal dinner wear and the whole room is lit by candlelight. Ben sips an absinthe:
"Emma, you don't have to answer me tonight if you don't wish to. However I'd really like you to marry me, as you know." Emma takes hold of Ben's hand:
"Ben are you sure that you really want this? I'm not stupid you know. I'm aware of your past... not everything but I do know that you've dated guys as well as girls. Are you sure I'm what you want?"
"Of course I am. Please don't allude to any past behaviour. That was just a phase. I want marriage and a family and nothing else. And I want you to share that with me Emma." Emma laughs and a tear falls down her cheek.
"Then of course I'll marry you Ben!" They laugh and embrace.

Later Ben drives Emma to her hotel in London before returning to the recording studio to lay down vocals for "Life on Mars" and "Sebastian". When he finished it was nearly midnight and not wanting to waste an evening in London decided to go to 'Heaven' for a couple of hours. He failed to notice the two young men following him as he entered the club.....
After a few absinthes Ben was on the dancefloor, his exclusive white shirt bulging with his well-toned muscles. He spotted a dark-haired young guy in the distance staring at him and felt an instant attraction. The guy came over and they danced together to Rhianna for a while.
"Hi, I'm Luke".
"Hi Luke I'm Ben."
"You wanna come to my place tonight Ben".
"Yes. I want you to **** me and then **** ******* ***".
After more drinks Ben left with Luke and they made their way to Luke's exclusive penthouse apartment laughing. Inside the apartment, Luke stripped his clothes off revealing his well-toned body and poured a bottle of water over himself to cool down. Ben ripped his clothes off and they dived into bed.

Slowly Ben found himself returning to consciousness from the fog of sleep. His head throbbed and he stared at the unfamiliar surroundings. Slowly he remembered where he was. The bed felt wet and sticky, yet warm. Ben looked round and reeled in horror. Luke's body lay naked on the bed, covered in stab wounds. He felt something in his hand and lifed up.......... a knife. As he did so there was a bang on the door followed by a crash as the door flew open and the room bacame full of policemen. Two of them were armed:
"Don't move, don't move. Drop the knife. DROP IT NOW" one shouted. Ben threw the knife down.
"Benjamin Chatham. You are under arrest for murder!"

....................... to be continued.

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Re: Ben Chatham in "THE WEDDING OF BEN CHATHAM"

Post by Nick Barlow on Sat Jan 28, 2012 12:19 am

Loz banged away behind Corinne who had grabbed her flute.
Move along, nothing to see here.

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Re: Ben Chatham in "THE WEDDING OF BEN CHATHAM"

Post by sparacus on Sun Jan 29, 2012 5:34 am

Nick Barlow wrote:
Loz banged away behind Corinne who had grabbed her flute.
Move along, nothing to see here.

It is hardly an adequate review of a piece of creative writing to respond with a self-satisfied 'superior' quip.

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Re: Ben Chatham in "THE WEDDING OF BEN CHATHAM"

Post by Aspadistra on Sun Jan 29, 2012 3:08 pm

Isn't JK in prison?

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Re: Ben Chatham in "THE WEDDING OF BEN CHATHAM"

Post by sparacus on Mon Jan 30, 2012 1:51 am

Aspadistra wrote:Isn't JK in prison?

No. That is Phil Spector, who was Ben's original choice to produce the album.

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Re: Ben Chatham in "THE WEDDING OF BEN CHATHAM"

Post by Aspadistra on Mon Jan 30, 2012 1:37 pm

Ah. Thanks. I must be behind the times.

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Re: Ben Chatham in "THE WEDDING OF BEN CHATHAM"

Post by The Co=Ordinator on Mon Jan 30, 2012 2:10 pm

sparacus wrote:Inspired by Ian Levine's faith in him, Ben wakes up the following day determined to get to the bottom of the mystery

Much as I try Emperor, I can't get beyond the opening line of Part 6! Laughing

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Re: Ben Chatham in "THE WEDDING OF BEN CHATHAM"

Post by sparacus on Tue Jan 31, 2012 2:38 am

The Co=Ordinator wrote:
sparacus wrote:Inspired by Ian Levine's faith in him, Ben wakes up the following day determined to get to the bottom of the mystery

Much as I try Emperor, I can't get beyond the opening line of Part 6! Laughing

Ian Levine is a major character in the story and has a large collection of Ben Chatham memorabilia.

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Re: Ben Chatham in "THE WEDDING OF BEN CHATHAM"

Post by The Co=Ordinator on Tue Jan 31, 2012 3:22 am

Blimey. cyclops

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Re: Ben Chatham in "THE WEDDING OF BEN CHATHAM"

Post by sparacus on Mon Feb 06, 2012 5:34 am


OK folks, the plot thickens. Here is part 7 of this Doctor Who spin off series story:

"THE WEDDING OF BEN CHATHAM" Part 7

Ben is taken to the remand prison and thrown roughly into a cell. One of the policemen spits a massive lump of flem at him and Ben just manages to duck in time so that it splats against the mouldy damp wall, which is covered in bloodstains. The policemen laugh and slam the cell door. Ben sees that Kyle, who has been beaten up again, is lying on a mouldy mattress in the corner. Ben goes over to him and cradles his head, offering him a Fox's Glacier Mint.
"Its ok Kyle, I'm going to get us out of here somehow. I just don't know how yet."

Meanwhile Katie Ryan arrived at Operation Delta HQ in an angry mood. She flounced into the meeting room where Corinne Shaw was pouring out coffees and slammed copies of the Sun, Mirror and Daily Mail onto the table:
"I take it that you lot haven't ¤¤¤¤ing heard. Ben's been arrested for murder!"
The others gazed at the lurid headlines and Keith Smith began to read out the Mail's lead story:

"Shamed OPeration Delta head Ben Chatham has been arrested for murder following what appears to be a sordid altercation with a gay lover. Chatham picked up the young man, named as Luke Hanson 22 from Hampstead, in Heaven nightclub, a notorious homosexual haunt. It was revealed this morning that police suspect Chatham of stabbing Luke to death as part of a twisted sado-masochistic sex session..........

"I think we've heard enough Keith!" Corinne firmly stated: "Ben will be devastated that the Mail has joined in this character assassination. Obviously the whole thing is an elaborate set up".
"Yeah but how the hell do we prove it?" Katie snapped. As she did so the door swung open and in bustled............

................Ian Levine!


"I came as soon as I could.. I must speak to you all immediately *waving a newspaper* this is all a set up and I can prove this fact".
"What the ¤¤¤¤ are you babbling on about?" Katie asked angrily. Shakey Jake took a drag on his cigarette:
"Hey babe chill ok? Let the guy speak". Ian Levine sat down panting:
"I used to work at 'Heaven' as a DJ and still have contacts there. I have been informed that Luke Hanson is an upmarket rent boy and that he has been boasting to all and sundry that he's landed a highly lucrative job that will set him up for life. One of the current DJs informed me that Hanson told him that he's planning to fly to LA this afternoon to start a new life."
"Hey man its a bit too bad that he's dead. Poor dude" Jake said mournfully. Katie scowled:
"You thick hippy ¤¤¤¤! Don't you get it? Its all a set up. This guy is probably still alive. We need to intercept him."
"Yeah babe like how? We don't know what airport or time". Ian Levine intervened:
"I can help with that. Hanson boasted that he was flying first class British Airways at 4 pm!"

That afternoon Katie, Paul, Corinne and Jake arrived at the airport. They all had copies of the Sun with Hanson's photo on the front page. Paul led the way to the check in terminal for flights to Los Angeles. They surrupticiously walked around the nearby shops keeping an eye on the passengers arriving. After what seemed like a lifetime Katie noticed a young man arrive. He had a hoodie on but as he looked around Katie had a clear view of his features:
"There he is!" She shouted. As they ran towards him, Hanson looked round in horror and bolted, running through the airport, knocking down a small child which wailed in pain. Paul and Katie kept pace with him and as Hanson turned a corner he ran headlong into a man, lost his footing and went flying. Paul grabbed him:
"You're coming with us and going public on how you helped set up Ben". Hanson looked terrified:
"Let go of me. They'll kill me. You don't know what you're dealing with". Suddenly a shot rang out and Paul seemed to feel the bullet whiz past them very close. Two armed men in business suits were running towards them:
"I think we'd all better run now" Paul shouted and they all took flight. The men carried on shooting as a party of American tourists walked in front of them. Two of the women were accidently shot, the blood splatting out over the grey polished floor. The team ran out of the airport and made for the car park, Paul holding on to Hanson's arm. They bundled him into the car and Katie drove off at speed. However as they did so a police car rounded a corner and drove straight at them on a collision course..................


....................to be continued.

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Re: Ben Chatham in "THE WEDDING OF BEN CHATHAM"

Post by The Co=Ordinator on Mon Feb 06, 2012 6:19 am

Emperor, I'm not sure your characterisation of Ian Levine is entirely correct.

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Re: Ben Chatham in "THE WEDDING OF BEN CHATHAM"

Post by sparacus on Mon Feb 06, 2012 7:23 am

The Co=Ordinator wrote:Emperor, I'm not sure your characterisation of Ian Levine is entirely correct.

How do you think I could improve it? I aspire to high standards in my fiction and wish to portray Ian authentically.

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Re: Ben Chatham in "THE WEDDING OF BEN CHATHAM"

Post by The Co=Ordinator on Mon Feb 06, 2012 7:32 am

Oh dear. There's the best part of 30 years of stuff I could go through here........

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Re: Ben Chatham in "THE WEDDING OF BEN CHATHAM"

Post by Tessellated Facsimile on Mon Feb 06, 2012 9:15 am

Aspadistra wrote:Isn't JK in prison?
No. I think she's in Australia or somewhere, actually.

As for the rest of this...

You actually read this fish guy's "prose" by choice without a bottle of disinfectant to hand? I mean, I know I'm fairly new around here but.... Shhhssssshhhh! affraid

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Re: Ben Chatham in "THE WEDDING OF BEN CHATHAM"

Post by Tessellated Facsimile on Mon Feb 06, 2012 10:10 am

Tessellated Facsimile wrote:
Aspadistra wrote:Isn't JK in prison?
No. I think she's in Australia or somewhere, actually.
offside! Dee...Sid wouldn't be amused. Mad

Tessellated Facsimile wrote:You actually read this fish guy's "prose" by choice without a bottle of disinfectant to hand? I mean, I know I'm fairly new around here but.... Shhhssssshhhh! affraid
take no notice of her fishman. I think your story is funny. in a cheesy kind of way. What a Face

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Re: Ben Chatham in "THE WEDDING OF BEN CHATHAM"

Post by sparacus on Mon Feb 06, 2012 10:49 am

[quote="Tessellated Facsimile"]
Aspadistra wrote:

As for the rest of this...

You actually read this fish guy's "prose" by choice without a bottle of disinfectant to hand? I mean, I know I'm fairly new around here but.... Shhhssssshhhh! affraid

You are clearly new here. May I point out that my work has been mentioned in DWM and a story of mine appeared in a major fanzine. My fiction is designed to be edgy while still appealing to a family audience.

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Re: Ben Chatham in "THE WEDDING OF BEN CHATHAM"

Post by Tessellated Facsimile on Mon Feb 06, 2012 11:13 am

sparacus wrote:You are clearly new here. May I point out that my work has been mentioned in DWM and a story of mine appeared in a major fanzine. My fiction is designed to be edgy while still appealing to a family audience.
Fair enough Mr. Finface, If I'd realised you've had a mention in Dish Washers Monthly and a story published in some geek rag, I probably would have been suitably awe struck. Your fiction is definitely...edgy - and I can definitely see it appealing to a family audience at the same time. I bet you have loads of family-centric fans in the Ozarks and Appalachians.

Still at least one of the other Tessellated's is enjoying your cheeseriffic fanfic. So at least you're batting 50/50 in this camp. Smile

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Re: Ben Chatham in "THE WEDDING OF BEN CHATHAM"

Post by sparacus on Sun Feb 19, 2012 6:02 am

"The Wedding of Ben Chatham" Part 8
OK folks, here is part 8 of this explosive story:

"THE WEDDING OF BEN CHATHAM: PART 8

Katie puts her foot down on the accelerator and shouts at the others:
"Hang on, this might be ¤¤¤¤ing rough!"
As the police car drives straight at them Katie abruptly swerves to the right and dodges it. The police car shoots forward and has no time to avoid a white van which is moving up behind. The police car and the van crash into each other and explode into flames. Paul, Corinne, Jake and Katie all give a cheer and zoom off into the distance.

Meanwhile at the prison a feminine figure approaches the imposing doorway and rings the buzzer. A burly prison guard answers on the intercom device:
"Yeah? Who is it?"
"It is Chief Inspector Chiang. You expecting me".
"Oh hang on".
The guard undoes the locks and opens the door letting the oriental person in, who is holding up an identity card.
"You're here to interrogate that Chatham an' 'is mate ain't ya. ¤¤¤¤ing bandit. I'd sow their arses up" the obese guard comments, spitting on the floor.
"I not interested in your opinion. Please show me to the prisoners!"
The guard grunts and mumbles something under his breath about 'chinks' before leading the way to the cells. As he fumbles with his keys to unlock the door of Ben's cell, the oriental person places a hand on his shoulder. A ring on their finger glows red and the guard collapses on the floor. Ben stirs from an uncomfortable slumber as he hears the cell door opening. The oriental person walks in:
"There no time to explain. I hear to get you out of this place."
Ben frowns:
"You're not one of my employees. I'm not aware of any chinese woman on the staff. I don't trust you."
"I not a chinese woman. I beautiful Thai ladyboy Lin Sang. I sent by the Doctor whom I been travelling with. He busy dealing with a Sontaran plot to invade Orion5 so he send me to help you." Ben stares at Lin Sang:
"Well you certainly had me fooled. I presume you use hair extensions and false breasts. "
"I no time to discuss my appearance. Please come with me."
"Ben reaches over to Kyle and gives him a gentle shake to wake him up. Then he helps the injured and bruised Kyle to his feet and follows Lin Sang out of the cell. As they approach a bunch of guards Lin Sang holds up a metallic, silver disc. The guards all fall down asleep.
"What is that thing?" Ben asks.
"It a Xianovian comfort disc. The Doctor lend it to me. They wake in two hours." Ben is irritated:
"I could have used that device many times. Its extremely inconsiderate of the Doctor not to give me one."
Lin Sang uses the device a few more times until they have recovered Ben'sa mobile and are safely out of the prison. Lin Sang leads them to a pink sports car which they help Kyle into before driving off at speed.

Later Ben, Kyle and Lin Sang meet up with the others at a secret location; a disused aerodrome sometimes used by Operation Delta to store equipment. In one of the hangers, Katie ties Luke Hanson to a chair and throws a bucket of water over him.
"Now you're going to talk Hanson or I'll make you suffer!"
Ben takes her to one side:
"Katie this is inappropriate. Operation Delta does not torture prisoners." Katie frowns:
"You're such a ¤¤¤¤ing wuss sometimes Ben. Anyway I'm not torturing him. Just scaring him a little."
They walk over to Hanson who looks terrified:
"Look you don't know what you're dealing with. They'll kill me if I say anything."
Katie removes a high-heeled shoe and raises it above Hanson's head.
"Ok Ok..... look I was offered the chance to start a new life. To get off the game and have piles of cash."
"Who by?" Ben asks.
"By..... look its the security services ok. MI5, MI6... the whole lot. They're outside of the law now. They can do anything. They are all infiltrated by some group or other. The government as well. All I know is that they answer to someone called Drake. John Drake". Ben frowns:
"John Drake? You mean the Defence Secretary John Drake?"
"I don't know who the hell the guy is. Just the name."
Ben is concerned:
"If the conspiracy stretches all the way up to the cabinet then we really are in trouble. *Turning to Hanson* I am extremely hurt and upset by your actions . You were excellent in bed and I wanted you to become a regular sexual activity partner."

Later Ben, Katie and Lin Sang walk into the Ministry of Defence in London and Lin Sang uses the Xianovian comfort disc to render unconscious the security and office staff. They make their way up to the Minister's office and barge in. Sitting behind a large oak desk, the Minister stares angrily as Ben strides forward:
"Mr Drake, I am Ben Chatham. You will now tell us exactly why you have been trying to destroy my name and my organisation........"

............to be continued.

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Re: Ben Chatham in "THE WEDDING OF BEN CHATHAM"

Post by The Co=Ordinator on Tue Feb 21, 2012 1:19 am

First Ian Levine. Now a Thai Ladyboy. You're getting very exotic Emperor.

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Re: Ben Chatham in "THE WEDDING OF BEN CHATHAM"

Post by Tessellated Facsimile on Tue Feb 21, 2012 2:52 am

The Co=Ordinator wrote:First Ian Levine. Now a Thai Ladyboy. You're getting very exotic Emperor.
affraid

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Re: Ben Chatham in "THE WEDDING OF BEN CHATHAM"

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