The trouble with Doctor Doctor jokes...

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The trouble with Doctor Doctor jokes...

Post by Dave Webb on Thu Jan 16, 2014 9:59 am

Someone suggested that it would be interesting to see a confrontation between The Joker and The Doctor. So here's my take on the 10th Doctor in conversation with the Heath Ledger Joker.



"Another Doctor? Can't I just take two aspirin and kill you in the morning?"
"I'm not that sort of Doctor"
The Joker leaned forward and gave the man in the chair a smile. Then he tilted his head.
"No, you're not. You're not at all, are you? I know how that is. That's the thing about large groups of people. They can be so limiting if you're interested in personal freedom. I don't imagine someone like you would be able to stand it very long."
The Doctor raised an eyebrow.
"And exactly what do you think you know about me?"
The Joker sat back, relaxed into the hard plastic of the chair and brushed his hair away from his eye. He tried the smile again, and contrived to look hurt when it didn't seem to make a difference.
"I'm just trying to build a bridge here. We're not so different, you and I. Look outside and you'll see seven billion people, all of them trying to get along, fit in, be just alike. Doesn't matter what the rules are, doesn't matter how inhumane the situation, how terrible the command, if you take any one of those...those...people and tell them to put a gun to their neighbour's head, as long it lets them be just like everyone else,they'll do it. Any chance they get, they'll turn up the dial and give the test subject another jolt. And you hate that just as much as I do."
"Do you really think so little of humanity?"
The Joker shook his head.
"Humanity thinks so little of humanity. As long as the order comes from the right source, they'd eat their own young if a judge told them to. Or a President. Or a preacher. Or a Doctor..."
Suddenly, the Doctor was up and moving. Pacing the confines of the interview room ruffling his hair. It happened so quickly that for a moment the Joker thought that the tall thin man in the ridiculously long brown coat had exploded.
"Ohhhhhh, you see that's what's so tragic about you," said The Doctor, "Look at you, sitting there with your undergraduate grasp of Stanley Milgram and your Coulrophobic facepaint, you're such a keen student of human nature..."
The Joker blinked.
"Well, now, you make that sound like a bad thi..."
He stopped, because The Doctor was leaning over the table, his index finger pressed against the Joker's lips.
"Shh. Still talking" said The Doctor. He leaned away and turned the chair around, settling on it like and resting his chin on his folded arms.
"But, properly, look at you. Because you're brilliant. Actually, genuinely brilliant. You did more to eliminate organised crime in this city in a month than the Police, the citizens and a very worrying vigilante managed to do in years. You have the best mind in a generation and what are you doing with it? Killing people."
"In my defense, I do it very well."
"Yes, but what's it for? I mean, congratulations. You killed some people and made them briefly very afraid of you. And a lot of other people were also afraid of you and aware that there are bad people out there who want to hurt them for no reason and that the darkness contains terrible things. But guess what? There have always been bad people and there is always something terrible in the darkness. If you wanted to jolt them out of huddling together around the fire in the cave mouth, all you succeeded in doing is making them even more determined to stay there."
He paused.
"But they don't stay there forever. I've seen the whole story. I was there at the end of it. Humankind exists for the rest of time, and when the light of the last star in the universe shines there'll be a human being looking up at it in wonder. Because ultimately, that's who they are."
The Joker could feel the conversation slipping away from him, along with his position as Craziest Man in the Room. He placed his hands palms down on the table and favoured The Doctor with sour look.
"You paint such a Bob Ross picture with your happy little people spreading wonder around the stars. I see things a little differently. Do you wanna know how I got these scars?"
"I know exactly how you got those scars" said the Doctor, then he leaned over the desk and whispered in the Joker's ear. He sat back down and stared into the Joker's eyes.
After a moment or two of staring at what faced him across the table, the Joker stood up and backed away to the door. He kicked it with his heel a few times, never once looking away from The Doctor. The observation hatch opened.
"I'm ready to go back to my cell, now" he said.

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sparacus wrote:Invalid response.
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Dave Webb
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