Apaches (and other PIFs)

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Apaches (and other PIFs)

Post by Nick Barlow on Fri Sep 25, 2009 3:59 pm

Charlie Brooker posted a link to this on Twitter earlier: http://www.vimeo.com/3772540 It's Apaches, possibly the scariest Public Information Film ever made. It's reported that when the Spirit of Dark and Lonely Water saw this, he soiled himself in fear.

If you've never seen Apaches, imagine being 6 or 7 and seeing something on TV one Sunday morning that looks like a film about a group of kids. They're chasing each other around, playing games...and then it turns into a particularly vivid farm-related snuff movie. If you ever want to know why British people are the way we are - especially why people of around my age are probably more likely to have nightmares about drowning in slurry pits than anyone else on Earth - then watch this and understand

It's directed by John McKenzie, who went on to direct The Long Good Friday, by the way.

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Re: Apaches (and other PIFs)

Post by Patrick on Fri Sep 25, 2009 8:49 pm

Yikes!

Watching this made me glad my Sunday morning fare was restricted to re-runs of the Bullwinkle and Rocky Show. Well, that and a PBS station that showed Doctor Who at 10:00 am. (Growing up, I was an altar server at Corpus Christi parish, and I used to volunteer for the Saturday evening vigil, in a selfish attempt to make sure God didn't interfere with my Doctor Who viewing.)

My first thought while watching this: why keep going back to the farm o' death? You'd think kids would learn to keep well away from the place after watching even one of their mates 'snuffed'. I lost a certain amount of credibility when we kept seeing farm machinery as the C.O.D.

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Re: Apaches (and other PIFs)

Post by Dave Webb on Sat Sep 26, 2009 11:26 am

Patrick wrote:My first thought while watching this: why keep going back to the farm o' death? You'd think kids would learn to keep well away from the place after watching even one of their mates 'snuffed'. I lost a certain amount of credibility when we kept seeing farm machinery as the C.O.D.

You misunderstand. The message of the piece is "ALL farm machinery wants you dead" - and therefore you have to carefully show each element of the farm's machinery as lethal. Kids will generally assume that unless it has been proven bad, a thing is safe. What they need to understand from this film is that farms are hungry, and savage, and they will eat you if they think no one is looking.

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Re: Apaches (and other PIFs)

Post by Patrick on Sat Sep 26, 2009 12:05 pm

Dave Webb wrote:You misunderstand. The message of the piece is "ALL farm machinery wants you dead" - and therefore you have to carefully show each element of the farm's machinery as lethal. Kids will generally assume that unless it has been proven bad, a thing is safe. What they need to understand from this film is that farms are hungry, and savage, and they will eat you if they think no one is looking.

The thing is, you can extend that "farm machinery wants you dead" logic to include lots of things outside: train tracks and trains, swimming pools/lakes/rivers, boats, motor vehicles, inclement weather, old trees that drop big branches, being a pedestrian at an intersection. It's enough to make you fearful of venturing outdoors at all. And so you stay inside, where, thanks to the Final Destination movies, lots of things in your home are perfectly capable of killing you, as well.

Perhaps I'll just stay in bed with the covers pulled over my head.

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Re: Apaches (and other PIFs)

Post by Zoltar on Sat Sep 26, 2009 6:04 pm

Patrick wrote:Perhaps I'll just stay in bed with the covers pulled over my head.
If you thought the farm machinery was bad, wait till you hear about the killer covers...

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Re: Apaches (and other PIFs)

Post by Patrick on Sat Sep 26, 2009 7:46 pm

Zoltar wrote:
Patrick wrote:Perhaps I'll just stay in bed with the covers pulled over my head.
If you thought the farm machinery was bad, wait till you hear about the killer covers...

What? My 600 thread count sheets? Out to kill me?

That's it. My last ounce of strength to fight this "fill-in-the-blank is out to kill you" paranoia has found a loophole: I'm building my own Zero Room. Completely cut-off from outside influences, even the gravity will be local. Ha! Try and do me in now!

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Re: Apaches (and other PIFs)

Post by Zoltar on Sat Sep 26, 2009 11:03 pm

Patrick wrote:What? My 600 thread count sheets? Out to kill me?

That's it. My last ounce of strength to fight this "fill-in-the-blank is out to kill you" paranoia has found a loophole: I'm building my own Zero Room. Completely cut-off from outside influences, even the gravity will be local. Ha! Try and do me in now!
So I assume you'd rather not hear about Fox's recent When Zero Rooms Attack! special then?

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Re: Apaches (and other PIFs)

Post by Patrick on Sun Sep 27, 2009 7:20 am

Zoltar wrote:So I assume you'd rather not hear about Fox's recent When Zero Rooms Attack! special then?

Sorry, that doesn't count. Now, if they'd made "Zero Room Apaches," I might be more persuaded.
Wink

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Re: Apaches (and other PIFs)

Post by Zoltar on Sun Sep 27, 2009 5:46 pm

Patrick wrote:Sorry, that doesn't count. Now, if they'd made "Zero Room Apaches," I might be more persuaded.
Wink
Don't give them any ideas... Wink

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Re: Apaches (and other PIFs)

Post by Lee Carey on Sun Sep 27, 2009 11:33 pm

Nick Barlow wrote:Charlie Brooker posted a link to this on Twitter earlier: http://www.vimeo.com/3772540 It's Apaches, possibly the scariest Public Information Film ever made. It's reported that when the Spirit of Dark and Lonely Water saw this, he soiled himself in fear.

If you've never seen Apaches, imagine being 6 or 7 and seeing something on TV one Sunday morning that looks like a film about a group of kids.
Forget that-- living near a farming community meant we watched Apaches in an assembly at school around the age of 8! Shocked

No wonder the video nasty boom took off in the 80s: after Apaches, I Spit On Your Grave seemed like a stroll in the playground.
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