Outpost Wrinkly
Would you like to react to this message? Create an account in a few clicks or log in to continue.

The Life and Other Times of Peter Saint - An Attempt at Comedy

2 posters

Go down

The Life and Other Times of Peter Saint - An Attempt at Comedy Empty The Life and Other Times of Peter Saint - An Attempt at Comedy

Post by Johnstone McGuckian Mon Feb 14, 2011 3:21 am

A script of a 'mockumentary' for you enjoyment here. This is my first real attempt at writing comedy and will hopefully get around to actually making this one day. I'll warn you now that some parts aren't in the best of taste.

A couple of years ago I attempted to make a film with a group of friends and we failed miserably. The script was too complicated to be made by a group of teenagers on a budget of nothing. I went away and wrote something that would be far far more simple. After a fair few drafts and the culling of about 8 pages, here's the final result. I hope you enjoy...

The Life and Other Times of Peter Saint
Johnstone McGuckian
Johnstone McGuckian
Youngster Mod

Number of posts : 1722
Age : 32
Location : Macc
Awards :
Registration date : 2008-11-03

Back to top Go down

The Life and Other Times of Peter Saint - An Attempt at Comedy Empty Re: The Life and Other Times of Peter Saint - An Attempt at Comedy

Post by Sid Seadevil Mon Feb 14, 2011 5:04 am

This was fun, Johnstone. A nice idea and the execution was pretty much spot on. There's possibly a couple of things that might be added that would improve the gag scope even further.

The inclusion of a Mary Whitehouse type self-appointed media moral guardian to bemoan how the show was corrupting the nation's youth.

One or two representatives of alternate religions infuriated at how the show promoted a very biased and one-sided view of the afterlife/the real "One True God".

A stereotypical teen-ager bemoaning how the show was "out of touch wiv the yoof of today, innit" type.

But there is plenty of potential in the idea - I think it just needs a touch of polishing and you might well be on to something.

One additional thought: The C=O is the real expert with tons of hands-on experience when it comes to this kind of thing - canvas his opinions and pay close attention to what he has to say.

*nods sagely* Smile

Sid Seadevil
Sid Seadevil
Older than Sid

Number of posts : 8275
Age : 64
Location : Back from charting the Undiscovered Country - it wasn't all that
Awards : The Life and Other Times of Peter Saint - An Attempt at Comedy Poster10
The Life and Other Times of Peter Saint - An Attempt at Comedy Person10
Registration date : 2008-11-04

Back to top Go down

The Life and Other Times of Peter Saint - An Attempt at Comedy Empty Re: The Life and Other Times of Peter Saint - An Attempt at Comedy

Post by Johnstone McGuckian Wed Feb 16, 2011 9:28 am

Let the canvassing begin Wink

I love the Mary Whitehouse idea and I'm almost disappointed that I didn't think of it.
Johnstone McGuckian
Johnstone McGuckian
Youngster Mod

Number of posts : 1722
Age : 32
Location : Macc
Awards :
Registration date : 2008-11-03

Back to top Go down

The Life and Other Times of Peter Saint - An Attempt at Comedy Empty Re: The Life and Other Times of Peter Saint - An Attempt at Comedy

Post by Sid Seadevil Wed Feb 16, 2011 9:43 am

You probably would have thought of the idea sooner or later. You just need to get used to trying to think through all the angles.
Sid Seadevil
Sid Seadevil
Older than Sid

Number of posts : 8275
Age : 64
Location : Back from charting the Undiscovered Country - it wasn't all that
Awards : The Life and Other Times of Peter Saint - An Attempt at Comedy Poster10
The Life and Other Times of Peter Saint - An Attempt at Comedy Person10
Registration date : 2008-11-04

Back to top Go down

The Life and Other Times of Peter Saint - An Attempt at Comedy Empty Re: The Life and Other Times of Peter Saint - An Attempt at Comedy

Post by Johnstone McGuckian Sun Feb 20, 2011 1:38 pm

Done a second draft. Added a few things, taken a few things away and so on. I've gone with the Whitehouse character but only in a scene or two. There's a possibility that a few friends and I will attempt to write this one. It was after all written with the easiest production possible in mind.
Johnstone McGuckian
Johnstone McGuckian
Youngster Mod

Number of posts : 1722
Age : 32
Location : Macc
Awards :
Registration date : 2008-11-03

Back to top Go down

The Life and Other Times of Peter Saint - An Attempt at Comedy Empty Re: The Life and Other Times of Peter Saint - An Attempt at Comedy

Post by Sid Seadevil Sun Feb 20, 2011 1:55 pm

Excellent. Keep us updated on how it's progressing, please mate.
Sid Seadevil
Sid Seadevil
Older than Sid

Number of posts : 8275
Age : 64
Location : Back from charting the Undiscovered Country - it wasn't all that
Awards : The Life and Other Times of Peter Saint - An Attempt at Comedy Poster10
The Life and Other Times of Peter Saint - An Attempt at Comedy Person10
Registration date : 2008-11-04

Back to top Go down

The Life and Other Times of Peter Saint - An Attempt at Comedy Empty Re: The Life and Other Times of Peter Saint - An Attempt at Comedy

Post by Sponsored content


Sponsored content


Back to top Go down

Back to top

- Similar topics

 
Permissions in this forum:
You cannot reply to topics in this forum