Ben Chatham in: "PERIL IN SAN REMO"

"PERIL IN SAN REMO": Part 1

It was the darkest of times. For Ben Chatham life seemed drained of all meaning and purpose. As the sun blazed down on the beach near the small town of Talmedo, south of Naples, Ben closed his eyes and hoped for sleep to engulf his mind and shroud it from its torturing demons. It had been three weeks since he fled to southern Italy in desperation; in need of complete solitude and escape. Three weeks since he had thrown his mobile into the sea and severed all contact with the Operation Delta team. He had told no one where he was going and didn't care what they thought. All he could think of was the need to blot out the sense of betrayal and hurt that overwhelmed him and the knowledge that James and Piers had let him down. He could not sleep so he poured himself another large martini and gulped it down, wishing the sand would part and swallow him. He noticed some dark haired italian youths playing with a beachball and gazed longingly at their attractive bodies and carefree spirits. The sunlight shimmered in his golden hair as he slowly rubbed more suntan oil over his smoothe chest and firm limbs. As he did so, a middle aged couple slowly approached him. The woman spoke first:
"Hi. You're from England too arn't you? We are renting the villa next to yours. I'm Val and this is my husband John. We're from Basingstoke." Ben yawned:
"Good to meet you. Now please leave me alone". John grinned:
"Hey we just thought you could do with some company. We can't help but notice that you're on your own."
"I'm on my own because I want to be on my own. Now ¤¤¤¤ off you common little man!" Ben snapped. John and Val looked hurt and walked off. Ben felt disconcerted and angry with himself. He could not understand why he had resorted to gratuitous invective and bad language. He felt that he was losing the essence of himself and his dark eyes filled with tears.

Several hours later he gathered up his beach towel and £950 sunglasses and lithely walked back to his villa. As he approached the front, he immediately noticed that something was wrong; the door was slightly ajar. The lock was broken. Pushing it open quietly, Ben saw a young man with dark greasy hair & stubble rifling through his writing bureau.
"What the hell are you doing in here?" Ben shouted. The young man turned and mumbled something in Italian using an aggressive tone. Ben blocked his path and the italian tried to push him aside. In the scuffle, the intruder tried to punch Ben, who dodged his head out of the way and retaliated with a punch to the chin. The man fell backwards and hit his head on the side of the bureau. As Ben stood over him, he was alarmed that the man didn't seem to be breathing. Ben tried to resucitate him, however it was no use.
"This is all I need." Ben muttered to himself. He poured himself another martini and sat down to think. He knew that in the UK the law could be complicated in cases where burglars were killed and he had no desire for complications. He searched the burglar's pockets and removed his wallet. It had a name and address on it:
CARLO PAPLETTI
126 DEL A SANDRICA
SAN REMO
"Now I'll have to dispose of this body somehow. How inconvenient. I wanted to do a bit of reading" he muttered under his breath. He remembered that he had recently bought a boat and thought of taking it out tonight and dumping the criminal in the sea. However as he pondered, a strange glow engulfed the corpse. Slowly it vanished. Blind panic engulfed Ben and he shot out of the villa and ran back down to the beach, where the sun was setting over the sea. The last thing he needed now was another mystery to investigate. He gazed down at the wallet still in his hands.
"San Remo is the other end of Italy! How inconvenient" he muttered to himself. However he knew that the desire was growing inside him to know what this was all about and that he would soon be on his way............

................... to be continued.

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OK fans, here is the exciting second part of this adventure:

"PERIL IN SAN REMO" Part 2

Ben returned to his exclusive villa to make preparations for his trip to San Remo. He instructed his cleaner Luigi, an eighteen year old Italian whom he paid a modest wage, to book a room for him in a top hotel as well as train tickets. Meanwhile Ben was packing while humming Kate Bush’s ‘Cloudbusting’ to himself. As he did so he suddenly remembered something that made him sit down on the side of the bed and think. When he was at the airport in Naples having just arrived in Italy a young man had stumbled into him and pushed an object into his hand before disappearing into the airport throng. The object was a small metallic box that Ben had thought looked like a Victorian matchbox. However he had been unable to open it.
“Could this have been what the burglar was after?” Ben whispered to himself. He looked frantically in the bottom drawer where he had put the box and located it. Ben stared at the box and realised that the strange metal of which it was constructed was not of a type that he recognised. Then he bunged it in his case and carried on humming ‘Cloudbusting’.

Ben gazed out of the window of the overnight train to San Remo as the sun was setting in the distance. He stared at the vineyards sweeping past and the shirtless, muscular Italians who were working in them. Occasionally he gazed at Carlo's wallet and address. Ben was still very down and allowed the tears to flow as he thought of the constant dead ends that his relationships seemed to lead to. The waiter arrived with a £60 bottle of italian white wine and a fruit salad. As Ben sipped the wine a young woman entered the compartment and sat down opposite him.
"Excuse me, is this seat taken?" she asks.
"No but I would rather you sat somewhere else. I want to be alone" Ben replied tersely.
"Hey come on don't be like that. My name is Fran, short for Francesca *holds out hand smiling*". Ben frowns:
"Sit there if you must. I presume you are a gap year student or something similarly commonplace." Fran laughs:
"I graduated last year from Durham. I decided to see Europe before getting a job. Me and my friends are staying in Rome."
"Then why are you going to San Remo then?" Ben asks, vaguely interested:
"Its my brother Chris. He's a musician; a pianist. He came on holiday to San Remo a month ago and was going to stay for two weeks. We were due to then meet up in Rome. However he never came and his calls and texts just stopped. No one back in England has heard from him either.” Ben frowns:
“I presume you’ve checked the hospitals.”
“Well yeah, rang all the San Remo ones.” Fran is visibly upset and Ben pours her a glass of wine:
“He may have been murdered and stripped of his wallet and ID so the authorities can’t identify the body. However there are other possibilities so I wouldn’t upset yourself.”

As the train arrives in San Remo, Ben and Fran pick up their cases and disembark.
“Where are you staying?” Ben asks.
“At the Hotel Dei Lomi in the Rue de St Michel” she replies. It is where my brother stayed.”
“That is where I am staying. Let me get us a taxi.” Ben replies.
“Thanks. Its good to have some company” Fran replies. Ben feels good about himself and pleased that his infectious personal charm has worked on Fran. As they walk out of the station, Ben beckons a taxi while sucking a mint. As he does so someone grabs the case from his hand and pushes him from behind into the path of a speeding car…………….

…………..to be continued

OK folks, here is the next part of this gripping story that would make a good Big Finish audio:

"PERIL IN SAN REMO": Part 3

The car screeches to a halt and nearly hits Ben who throws himself out of the way just in time, falling onto the road and grazing his chin. The car driver leans out the window and hurls abuse at him in italian:
"That was not my fault as somebody pushed me. Please alter your demeanour" Ben replies, hurt and angry. He gets to his feet and feels his chin, blood sticking to his fingers. The car driver continues to shout in italian:
"Look I am English! Non comprohendi! It is rude to assume that everyone speaks your minority language" Ben points out to him. Fran rushes up to him:
"It was a young guy in shades.. I saw him push you. He grabbed your case but I snatched it from him and he ran off" she exclaims.
"Thanks, that was a quick and effective reaction" Ben replies, a sense of relief enveloping him.

Later Ben and Fran are at the Hotel Dei Lomi. Having freshened up they are sitting in the bar enjoying martinis. Ben is feeling down because of the graze on his chin:
"I feel so self-conscious looking like this. Its as if everyone is staring at me and picking fault". Fran smiles:
"Oh Ben, you have no need to worry. You are a really attractive guy, even with the graze". Ben is flattered and lets her stroke his cheek.
"So what do you think that guy was after?" Fran asks. Ben pours another martini and tells Fran everything that has happened since the burglary, needing to share his problems and hoping she will understand.After Ben has finished, Fran takes his hand:
"I must say that I'm finding it hard to take this all in; don't get me wrong Ben I believe you its just that... well a vanishing corpse, strange metallic box and so on.. its hard to get my head round." Ben smiles:
"Oh thats nothing really compared to some of the things Ive done. However I will not confuse you with any of that. What do you think I should do now?" Ben asks.
"Is the small box safely hidden in your room?" Fran asks him.
"Yes, its inside the left shoe of my spare pair in the wardrobe"Ben replies.
"Then don't we go straight to that address you have for the Carlo guy and investigate. I'll come too if you agree to help me find Chris."
Ben smiles at her and agrees.

Half an hour later they arrive at a dingy row of houses in a poor area of town.
"This is it. Its hardly surprising he was a criminal if he came from this run down dump" Ben comments. Two steet urchins approach, begging for coins:
"You should not be begging like this as it lowers the tone of your area and makes it less attractive to investors" Ben firmly states. He walks up to the house and knocks the door, however there is no reply. Fran suggests that they try round the back and when there is still no reply Ben kicks the door in:
"I assure you that I do not enjoy doing things like that" Ben points out as they enter. The house is dank and there is the smell of urine and rotten meat. The walls are covered with smears and stains and there is a pile of mouldering washing up in the sink:
"How on earth could anyone live in a pit like this?" Ben exclaims, disgusted. He suggests that Fran wait downstairs while he checks the upstairs, then climbs the creaking wooden staircase. Upstairs he sees a doorway. Pushing it open, Ben is shocked to see a grimy, urine soaked bed with rats crawling all over it. Then he feels a sharp blow to the back of the head and darkness envelopes him........................


........................... to be continued.

OK people, here is the much anticipated next part of this adventure:

“PERIL IN SAN REMO” : part 4

Slowly the hazy sense of being permeated through the fog of Ben’s unconsciousness and he emerged from its depths. He felt a dull ache at the back of his head as he opened his eyes and saw he was in a small room with bars across its single window. The whitewashed brick walls were stained with dried blood and graffiti and he realised that he was in a police cell. As he tried to lift himself to his feet the door was flung open and two Italian policemen entered . One of them, an overweight man with a thick moustache, lent down towards him and shouted in Italian. His breath stank. Ben felt nauseated:
“Look I don’t speak Italian. Please find an English speaker”. The policeman kicked him hard in the ribs before loudly guffawing and spitting on the floor. His colleague left the room and returned shortly with another policeman , a burly man with a pock-marked face.
“I speaker the English. Now you tell me why you killeda the girl”. Ben was shocked and confused:
“What? What do you mean? Killed who?” The policeman laughed mockingly:
“Why pretenda you don’t know. The English girl Francesca Clark. Her body was founda with you in that hovel. You fight with her and she hit you before you strangle her. Then you pass out.” Ben was alarmed and upset:
“Look I did not kill Fran. Someone hit me from behind. Look how can I have killed her if I was dealt such a blow first. Please use some basic logic. The standards of policing in this country are appalling. Now please let me have my phone, I wish to make a call”. The policeman laughed and gave Ben a kick before leaving him in the cell and slamming the door.”

Several hours later, the pock-marked policeman returned. Ben jumped up:
“Look I can offer you money. Give me my phone and cards and I’ll arrange it Then just let me go.” The policeman scowled:
“You try a to bribe us? Foolish move. You have visitor. We allowa you one visitor. No phone.” Ben was led from the cell into another dingy room full of policemen smoking and visitor tables. Behind one sat Luigi. Ben had paid for him to come down on a later train after he had finished the chores at Ben’s villa:
“Luigi, how did you know I was here?”
“The police were searching your hotel room and I guessed you were here. What happened to you?” Luigi said in perfect English. Ben frowned:
“That can wait. Now please memorise the following number and then phone it to explain my circumstances.”
Ben made Luigi memorise the UNIT HQ number before the visiting time was over.”

Several hours later Ben was released. He was concerned that although UNIT had managed to secure his temporary release, the charge of murder still hung over him. He returned to the Hotel Dei Lomi where Luigi was tidying his room after the police search. He was mopping up some water from a spilt vase.
“Well done Luigi. They’ve released me for now. I need a drink.” Luigi poured Ben a martini . Suddenly Ben remembered the box. He rushed to the wardrobe and frantically searched through the shoes at the bottom. The box was gone………………………….



………………… to be continued.

OK folks, here is the much anticipated next part of this mystery thriller:

"PERIL IN SAN REMO": Part 5

Ben has ordered white wine and some fresh oysters to be brought up to his room in the Hotel Dei Lomi. He sips the wine slowly and tries to evauate the situation. Luigi is tidying Ben's wardrobe. Ben suddenly looks up:
"I have thought of a way forward. You will go to the police Luigi and pretend to be the younger brother of this Carlo or Carlos person and that you are looking for him. Find out if he is known to them. I'll give you some money for bribery purposes, if I find out you've pocketed it yourself you will not get your wages." Luigi takes the money and leaves while Ben leafs through a book on Italian architecture.
A few hours later Ben is taking a siesta when Luigi returns. The latter stares at Ben who is languidly sprawled across the sofa wearing only a towel. The sun glistens on Ben's perfectly formed torso. Luigi gives him a gentle shake:
"I have some information Mr Chatham. The man was known to the police and has been in trouble several times for theft and selling cocaine to tourists. However they said that recently he had become very religious and stopped committing crime. They said that he went to the Saint Bernadette on the Mount Church on the outskirts of town". Ben is puzzled:
"This seems out of character for such an obvious low life. I do not believe that he suddenly turned to God. However I may be wrong so I will investigate this church. You will accompany me Luigi as you have shown that you are not useless."

A short time later Ben is walking up the steps of the Church and admiring its architecture, which is pre-renaissance. He pushes the door open and he and Luigi walk into a magnificent gold-plated interior decorated with ornate paintings of the madonna and child as well as biblical events such as the Sermon on the Mount.
"This is a magnificent building. A feast for the visual senses" Ben comments. As he does so an elderly nun approaches him, speaking in Italian. Ben frowns:
"What is she saying Luigi?"
"She says that the church is closing to the public in five minutes."
"Tell her that I am not the public and that I am investigating a murder" Ben snaps back. Luigi does so and the nun crosses herself. Ben walks up to the altar to examine some artwork around the side when suddenly the nun gives a yell. Several men appear from a doorway carrying guns. Ben and Luigi dive behind the altar as the men open fire. They scramble for cover and run through an archway behind the altar and down a narrow passage. More shots are fired as they kick open a wooden door and find themselves in a large backroom. They are shocked to see several rows of humanoid forms lying on the floor, connected to wires and strange computerised equipment. The figures have no facial features......................


.....................to be continued.

OK folks, here is part 6 of this major Doctor Who related story:

"PERIL IN SAN REMO": Part 6

Ben gazes in consternation at the faceless figures in front of him. Suddenly he hears a strangely familiar voice behind him.
"So Ben Chatham, you couldn't let it go. Well now you will have to be replaced." Ben turns round and is shocked to see......................




........Fran. She holds up a strange device which emits an eerie transluscent beam of green light and projects it at Ben's head, moving it down his body.
"But you are dead!" Ben exclaims.
"You are a fool. We simply killed a female of similar height and age and planted certain items on her body to initiate a process of mis-identification. I needed to retrieve the stabilisation coalesciant transfegregator and you foolishly told me where you had hidden it. Such a limited species you humans." Ben is angry:
"I am not limited. I have a degree from Cambridge. Who or what are you? And what are these faceless entities?"
"We come to this world not to explain but to conquer. Our homeworld it dying. Its resources are dwindling and the neutron war was the final catalyst of its demise. However some of us in the Grand Science Council of the Exalted Creath saw that our future lay in finding a new world. Our technology allows us to scan and duplicate your appearance. First we create the cellular base gethens which you see before you. Then we can mould them into replicas. They and I are volunteers from the Council. We embark on this project with the zeal of the creed of the Exalted Creath."
"Who is this Exalted Creath?" Ben asks, "And what was that device that you stole from my room for?"
"The Exalted Creath is closer to us than our parents. The Exalted Creath makes the rivers of time flow and guards the Celestial City of the Forbidden Tower. Blessed be his name. The transfegregator is needed to keep our replication process stable. However there are wreckers in our expedition. Dissidents who have turned away from this project and from the Exalted Creath. Curses be upon them. They wish to help your insignificant species. One of them passed you the transfegregator. However they have now been eliminated. See what we have achieved!"

Ben and Luigi are led to a small ante-chamber where several 'nuns' are tending the replica humanoid forms. Ben is shocked to see that their faces resemble those of world leaders such as Vladimir Putin and President Obama.
"Soon we will be in a position to control your leading governments. But please incline your visual sense organs towards the figure at the end on the right". Ben stares at the figure and is shocked to see an alien replica of himself:
"That replica is of a very poor quality. The hair isn't right and its cheeks are sunken. I am hurt by your lack of attention to detail". As he speaks Luigi surrupticiosly picks up a glass of green liquid and when Ben nods at him he flings it at 'Fran'. The glass smashes into the alien's head and in the ensuing commotion Ben and Luigi leap over the replicas and out of the room. Running through the church, Ben punches a replica nun before they escape out the doorway. They speed off in Ben's hired car:
"Luigi, please drive us out of San Remo to Forte Dei Marmi so that we can take stock of the situation. The earth is in grave danger..................."

.....................to be continued.

OK folks, here is the long awaited and much anticipated next part of this story folks:

"PERIL IN SAN REMO" Part 7

Ben and Luigi arrive in Forte Dei Marmi and book into a discreet hotel located in a side street by the cathedral. Ben instructs Luigi to ask the hotel staff to arrange for his things to be sent on from San Remo while he himself makes a call to London. When Luigi returns to the room, he finds that Ben has fallen asleep on his bed, exhausted. Luigi carefully pulls the duvet over Ben then retires himself.

The next day Ben is in a sombre mood as he takes a look round the cathedral while thinking carefully about his next move. He sits by an archway and stares into space.
"Are you ok Mr Chatham?" Luigi asks.
"No. Not at all. I fear that I've made a mistake. Yesterday I rang a colleague Corinne Shaw in London and explained the situation to her. Also my whereabouts. I think I need backup on this case. I came to Italy to get away from my life in England, from Operation Delta and the whole damn lot of them. I came here to get away from the fact that my boyfriend cheated on me with my own brother".
"I'm so sorry about that" Luigi says, stroking Ben's shoulder.
Ben's eyes fill with tears and he gazes down at the floor:
"What do you do when your love breaks up? Do you fall apart like a buttercup? Forget about tomorrow? Surround yourself with sorrow?" Ben ponders philosophically. Suddenly his phone bleeps and Ben stares at it sullenly:
"Well it seems one of my colleagues Katie Ryan took a flight from London last night and has just arrived at the hotel. I suppose we'd better go back and meet her.

Ben reluctantly returns to the hotel where Katie is sitting in the lobby with James Bartlett. Ben is furious:
"What the hell is he doing here?" he shouts. However Katie feistily moves over to Ben angrily:
"What the ¤¤¤¤ were you thinking Ben just taking off and leaving like that? We've been worried sick *noticing Luigi* and who is this? Your new italian twink-boy bit of rough? What the hell is wrong with you Ben?" Ben is upset and angry:
"I do not have to answer to you Katie. Why have you brought my treacherous half-brother with you?" James gets up and flicks his floppy, golden hair out of his eyes:
"Look Ben I'm like really sorry for what I did. It was like a stupid mistake . Piers has gone back to France . My mother has refused to take him back in so he is like living in a bedsit in Paris". Katie frowns:
"Never mind about all this cack, what the ¤¤¤¤ is all this about aliens and doppelgangers?" Luigi looks up:
"Ben met a girl called Fran who turned out to be....."
"Shut it Pedro, I was asking Ben. Well?" As she speaks, two priests approach and suddenly pull guns from within their robes:
"Death to those who threaten the Science Council of the Exalted Creath......."

............... to be continued.

OK folks, here is the next part of this gripping story:

"PERIL IN SAN REMO": Part 8

The 'priests' raise their weapons to shoot when a voice rings out from the back of the cathedral:
"Stop! The President wishes these gethens to be kept alive. Bring them here!". It is 'Fran'. Ben and the others are ushered towards them:
"Who is this President person to which you refer?" Ben demands.
"The President of the Science Council of the Exalted Creath. You will be taken to our ship for interrogation" the alien answers. Katie frowns:
"Who is this Exalted Creath?" she asks.
"The Exalted Creath makes the rivers of time flow and guards the Celestial City of the Forbidden Tower. Hail the Exalted Creath. All will bend to his power. Father is close, the family is close but the Exalted Creath is closer still!"
Katie laughs sardonically:
"What a load of quasi-religious bull¤¤¤¤. Such mumbo-jumbo usually means some form of meglomaniac dictator with delusions of infallability". Ben is concerned:
"I'm disturbed by your reference to making the rivers of time flow. I am a personal friend of the last of the time lords, the Doctor. And he has never mentioned this Creath person." The alien Fran scowls:
"The Exalted Creath is the Lord of Time. He needs no other. And the President is well aware that you have travelled in time. When we met before we carried out a full scan of your body without you being aware. You will come with us and reveal all that you know about this Doctor to the President. We have means of extracting your knowledge! Our ship is located in the sea near to the earth city of Venice."

The Doctor and the others are led to a waiting car which drives them to the coast where a powerboat is waiting. They then travel by sea to Venice. As they approach the city, Ben admires the outline of the city in the distance:
"Venice is truely one of the most beautiful cities in Europe."
The boat slows down and a beam of light envelopes it. They are beamed down through the water, protected by a forcefield, into the alien ship. There robed duplicates lead them into a futuristic room where three aliens sit behind a desk. The one in the middle wears a golden robe:
"I am the President of the Science Council of the Exalted Creath. You will tell me how you came to travel in time. If you refuse the information will be extracted by our technology and your associates put to death. Speak." Ben is annoyed:
"Why don't you show yourselves in your true alien form?" he demands.
"Do not continue to show impertinence gethen. Answer my question."
"I travelled with the Doctor in the TARDIS. The Doctor is a Time Lord. "
The Presidents whispers to his colleagues:
"Then you will contact this Doctor and summon him here. He may be useful to us. He will then be taken to the Forbidden Tower in the Celestial City". Ben frowns:
"I will not contact him."
"Then your associates will die. *gestures to the guards" Kill the two youths first"! The guards point guns at the heads of Luigi and James................

....................... to be continued.

Ok folks, here is the concluding part of this story:

"PERIL IN SAN REMO" Part 9

"OK ok, I'll call the Doctor..." Ben shouts desperately, as the aliens prepare to shoot into James and Luigi, "Katie, please lend me your phone as it has the Doctor's number in it and this new one of mine does not".
Ben takes the phone from Katie, winking at her. He presses some buttons then suddenly holds the phone towards the aliens and it emits a blinding flash. The aliens are temporarily blinded and Ben shouts "RUN" to the others. They run out of the room and through the corridor of the ship:
"That phone is awesome. How did you like get it to flash like that?" James asks.
"I gave the phone to Katie. It is one of several advanced phones that the Doctor gave me as a present" Ben replies.
"Like awesome" James answers. As they run through the ship they see a doorway and enter an engineering room. Katie feistily kicks the alien doppelganger who they find there in the groin and then in the head, knocking him out. Ben fiddles with the controls and rips out some wires. An alarm goes off and a fire starts under the control panel:
"Hopefully this will spread through the ship" he states.
"Like what about us? I like don't want to burn to death" James shouts.
"We will conduct a search for an exit and then will have to swim for it" Ben replies.

Rushing through the engineering room they find a door at the end which leads to an airlocked exit room. Once the main door is closed another can be opened that is the exit and the water comes in.
"OK everybody, we will be swimming to the surface. I suggest we remove our outer clothes" Ben instructs. Ben removes his shirt and trousers, revealing his perfectly toned torso and lithe, muscular legs. Katie takes her top off, although she is not wearing a bra:
"You might get very exited boys" she laughs. James grimaces:
"I'm like not interested in your breasts" he states. Katie is annoyed:
"Oh come on, a lad your age should be gagging for it. I can't believe that either you or Ben are such woofters that you can't appreciate these *thrusts chest forwards*".
"Enough bickering please and more haste" Ben instructs. James and Luigi strip down to their underpants, revealing their smooth limbs and slim, sublime bodies. Ben opens the door to the sea and it rushes in. They all swim through the water and up to the surface. Then they swim towards the shore of Venice. As they do so they find a piece of floating driftwood and have a game of water frisbee with it. As they reach the shore there is a massive explosion behind them.
"The ship has ¤¤¤¤ing exploded. Excellent work Ben" Katie exclaims.
As they walk up from the sea, several italian women stop and stare at Katie disapprovingly. Ben approaches them:
"Before you say anymore, please be aware that we are English, apart from Luigi here." The women look apologetic.

Several hours later, Ben, Katie, James and Luigi are all sitting in the 'Gracias a La Vida' bar,which is a popular haunt of English tourists to Venice, having aquired a change of clothes from the hotel. Ben sips an absinthe.
"So do you think thats the end of it then?" Katie asks. Ben frowns:
"Hardly. I think this is just the beginning. Their ship may have been destroyed, however we have no idea how many doppelgangers are at large in the world. More of these aliens may come. I doubt that we've heard the last of them, or this Exalted Creath entity."
"Will you like by coming home now?" James asks. Ben looks down, his dark eyes filling with tears:
"I need more time. There is much to forget.... much to forgive. I may travel some more." Katie is annoyed:
"We ¤¤¤¤ing need you Ben. Operation Delta needs you". Ben sips his drink:
"I will come home. Just not yet. You go back, I'll be OK. I've decided to employ Luigi as a general assistant as well as just cleaner, so he can carry out any communication duties with London."
As Ben speaks, the Bar Manager makes an announcement:
"I'da likea to announce a new singer to entertaina you all. All-a the way from England it is..............



............... Barry!"
Barry Took appears carrying a battered looking guitar:
"What the hell are you doing here?" Ben exclaims. Barry Took grins:
"Evening ¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤s! I got the next plane out here; don't crap yourselves its all charged to the Operation Delta expenses. And I can make a bit of dosh on the side here as well*noticing Katie" alright love; when I'm done here you can come back to my hotel room and park your muff on me chops". James is embarrased:
"I'm like really grossed out".
Barry strums his guitar tunelessly:
"Ok ¤¤¤¤¤, this one's called "Ringstinger Blues". He sings:

"I got those ringstinger blues
As I've been on the bog,
I've been farting all day
and went in to drop a log,
But I'd downed a massive curry
And ten pints of beer,
And now my arse is burning,
But it ain't cos I'm queer.....

Ben gets up:
"Let us find somewhere more civilised."


.... THE END.

Greetings, emperor! I'd like to think that the featured cameos of your good self and the Ricketty One in the latest Sid Seadevil adventure prompted your much overdue return to our boards.

Of course, I shall devour your latest literary endeavour with eager anticipation.

sparacus wrote:"PERIL IN SAN REMO": Part 1

How wonderful to rediscover our hero and be reassured that his innate empathy and tolerance toward the 'common folk' remains intact and functioning to its usual level. Although I must say, I was slightly disconcerted by the noticeable lack of reference to Ben's legendarily well-developed abs in this opening instalment. I can only hope their inclusion is both forthcoming and predominant.

sparacus wrote:"PERIL IN SAN REMO" Part 2

I find the continuing invocation of Ben's near 'Garboesque' self-imposed seclusionary bent to be a deft and understated example of assured characterisation. This Fran girl comes across as the type of upstart chattering classes oink who will doubtless seek to pull our hero down to her guttersnipe level. Unless of course you intend to subtly subvert reader expectations by having Ben assume a "Henry Higgins"-like mantel of mentor and raiser of her lowly sense of social awareness.

I am enthralled.

Well, I'm just glad that Ben retains his smoothe chest...

Hello spara.

andrea wrote:Well, I'm just glad that Ben retains his smoothe chest...

Ben without his smoothe chest? Why, that would be as unthinkable as Adam Rickitt playing one of those odious unemployed chav characters from Shameless.

*shudders with barely suppressed revulsion*

There's a question that has long been causing me sleepless nights that I finally feel must be voiced directly to The Emperor. Sparra, what are you thoughts on the possibility that Steve Mofatt created the character of Captain Jack Harness in a clumsy and ill-conceived, dumbed-down act of homage to your own intricate creation of Ben Chatham?

I ask because the more I think about it, the more the likelihood of such a thing being possible grows persuasive.

I do not believe that Captain Jack Harkness is based on Ben Chatham. Ben is a more multi-layered character. However I am open to a discussion with Steven Moffat with a view to developing Ben for tv.

sparacus wrote:I do not believe that Captain Jack Harkness is based on Ben Chatham. Ben is a more multi-layered character. However I am open to a discussion with Steven Moffat with a view to developing Ben for tv.

This meeting simply must happen. Sid, C=O, Nick... I implore you to work your connections and facilitate the introductions.

sparacus wrote:I do not believe that Captain Jack Harkness is based on Ben Chatham. Ben is a more multi-layered character. However I am open to a discussion with Steven Moffat with a view to developing Ben for tv.

Well naturally even the least decerning of plebs can recognise that Ben Chatham is infinitely more multi-layered than Moffat's crude effort. But nevertheless, I still entertain the possibility that Steven might at least have been unconsciously influenced by at least the ideal embodied by Ben when casting around for inspiration for his character. Sadly, I cannot foresee Ben ever being welcomed into the TV companion fold at present. Perhaps when Moffat stands down and makes way for a more enlightened showrunner. But until then, at least we have arguably Who's finest spin-off creation still doing what he was meant to do: entertain the masses.

Clearly I've missed a whole load of Chatham stories so could someone please tell me when and why Ben turned from absinthe to martinis?

andrea wrote:Clearly I've missed a whole load of Chatham stories so could someone please tell me when and why Ben turned from absinthe to martinis?

Actually that's a very good question, andrea. I was wondering the same thing. Although perhaps it's simply a case of absinthe being in short supply in the culturally backwards Italy? I'm sure The Emperor will enlighten us as the adventure continues.

Sid Seadevil wrote:

andrea wrote:Clearly I've missed a whole load of Chatham stories so could someone please tell me when and why Ben turned from absinthe to martinis?

Actually that's a very good question, andrea. I was wondering the same thing. Although perhaps it's simply a case of absinthe being in short supply in the culturally backwards Italy? I'm sure The Emperor will enlighten us as the adventure continues.

Ah, I was assuming that Ben had changed his choice of drink in a previous story which I had missed but I suppose it could indeed simply be due to a lack of absinthe in Italy.

Spara, at least two readers have been disconcerted by this martini drinking. Do you think a brief line explaining it might be a good idea? Or have I missed a story where Ben chose to leave his absinthe drinking days behind him? I so associate Ben with absinthe.

andrea wrote:Spara, at least two readers have been disconcerted by this martini drinking. Do you think a brief line explaining it might be a good idea? Or have I missed a story where Ben chose to leave his absinthe drinking days behind him? I so associate Ben with absinthe.

I agree. I find this change most disconcerting and a possible future stumbling block to my total immersion in the innate truth and realism of both Ben's character and on-going adventures.

I implore the Fish-God to address this conundrum at the first opportunity.

I must confess that I was initially dismayed by the fact that Ben Chatham concealed a death: it seemed rather out of character; then I realised that this event revealed just how out of sorts our hero was.

Sid Seadevil wrote:

andrea wrote:Well, I'm just glad that Ben retains his smoothe chest...

Ben without his smoothe chest? Why, that would be as unthinkable as Adam Rickitt playing one of those odious unemployed chav characters from Shameless.

*shudders with barely suppressed revulsion*

I notice that elsewhere in the text, however, the spelling is "smooth". I feel that this is significatn.

Sid Seadevil wrote:There's a question that has long been causing me sleepless nights that I finally feel must be voiced directly to The Emperor. Sparra, what are you thoughts on the possibility that Steve Mofatt created the character of Captain Jack Harness in a clumsy and ill-conceived, dumbed-down act of homage to your own intricate creation of Ben Chatham?

I ask because the more I think about it, the more the likelihood of such a thing being possible grows persuasive.

sparacus wrote:I do not believe that Captain Jack Harkness is based on Ben Chatham. Ben is a more multi-layered character.

I agree. Moreoever, the thought of Ben Chatham being played by an actor with an American accent is simply unthinkable.

Ben drinks Martini in the story because he is abroad in Italy. He likes to drink Martini and White Rum when visiting a hot country.

Ben went to Italy because events in the previous story gave him a desire to escape.

I'm sure I speak for all of us when I extend my thanks for this enlightening peek into our hero's complex backstory and inner motivations.

Although I am still slightly thrown off balance by his continuing discourteous rough treatment at the hands of so many swarthy, possibly unwashed young Italian men. Is it possible that these emotionally unsophisticated ingrates are blind to our hero's obvious charisma and physical perfection?