Ben Chatham in "THE WEDDING OF BEN CHATHAM"

The Co=Ordinator wrote:First Ian Levine. Now a Thai Ladyboy. You're getting very exotic Emperor.

I aim to produce edgy, innovative fiction which sets the standards for other Doctor Who writers.

Have you been overlooked by Moffat for Series 7?

sparacus wrote:I aim to produce edgy, innovative fiction which sets the standards for other Doctor Who writers.

So - softcore pone then.

The Co=Ordinator wrote:Have you been overlooked by Moffat for Series 7?

I cannot imagine why.

The Co=Ordinator wrote:Have you been overlooked by Moffat for Series 7?

Unfortunately this seems to be the case. I am perfectly willing to submit a script if asked and have lots of ideas.

This is clearly why the show is on a downward spiral...........

The Co=Ordinator wrote:This is clearly why the show is on a downward spiral...........

treading water, you might say





.

Well, my mind is truly boggled.

Ok folks, here is the next part of this epic story. Imagine that you are watching it on screen on a warm summer Saturday evening at 6pm. Lets make it happen:

"THE WEDDING OF BEN CHATHAM: Part 9"

John Drake sat back in his chair and laughed.
"Ok Ben. I should have realised that destroying your organisation wouldn't be a completely easy ride. However you must realise that you cannot possibly win."
"Answer the question Drake! What's this all about?" Katie shouts. Drake laughed again:
"Ahh its the lovely MIss Ryan. You are as attractive in the flesh as you are in photographs." Ben is bemused:
"We are not here to listen to your disingenuous compliments. Please furnish us with a proper explanation" he stated.
"Now now. My compliment was not disingenuous. I would like to think that in different circumstances Miss Ryan and I could get to know each other much more closely. However duty is duty. You people need to realise that the government has its priorities and that your organisation is, how shall I put this, in the way. How about we come to an arrangement. Shall we say £500,000 each for yourselves and the rest of your team to quietly disband and keep your mouths' shut?".
Ben reacted with fury:
"*tossing his golden hair out of his dark eyes* We can't be just bought off Drake. Even if we were to accept your outrageous 'offer' how could we be certain that you wouldn't have us quietly disposed of one by one later?"
Drake laughed:
"Oh such cynicism. As if I would."
Lin Sang stepped forward and pulled out a small, petite golden pistol from his chic handbag:
"You talk now. We want answers."
"I suggest that you all consider my offer seriously. Ok, I will explain, since there is no chance of you getting this information into the public domain. Just over two years ago, a significant offer was recieved by us from ... from visitors. From another world. Obviously such information is both politically sensitive and potentialy damaging to the cohesion of society. It would not be beneficial to anyone to publicise the details of this and risk unnecessary debate and division. Suffice to say that the visitors have offered us unprecedented technical advancement and healthcare advice which could advance society by several hundred years. British business stands to make billions."
Ben frowned:
"I do not accept your explanation. What is the catch? Why else are you keeping this from the public?"
"Well obviously there is no such thing as a free lunch. We must supply out visitors with a regular supply of good quality material. However to fail to do this will cost the economy billions."
"What kind of material?" Ben asked.
"Our visitors require some of our population resources. This is hardly unusual and has happened before. They also require that our government allow them a territorial resource. We believe that South Wales would be suitable for this and a cover story is currently being worked on to facilitate this."
"So you plan to hand over the whole of South Wales and loads of people to some unknown alien invaders?" Katie shouts. Drake laughed:
"Please don't be over dramatic and emotional Katie. Think of the economic benefits."
"Who are these aliens? Why you help them?" Lin Sang shouted:
"They have taken on our form. Suffice to say that they come from a planet called Zeneth and work for someone or something known as 'The Exalted Creath......."

As he spoke they heard the sound of sirens outside the building:
"Someone must have seen Lin using the disc on the security men and called for back up. Lets get out of here" Katie shouted.
"You come with us now" Lin Sang shouted at Drake, holding the pistol at him. They all ran out of the office and Lin Sang used the Xianovian comfort disc an a large group of armed police who were stomping through the main entrance. They shoved Drake into the back of Ben's vintage car and drove off at speed. Ben drove rapidly to the recording studio as they were 45 minutes late for the next round of sessions for the album. Arriving at the studio they ran inside only to see the place in uproar. Long-haired men with beards lounged about over the mixing desk while there was food and spilled drink all over the floor. The producer Jonathan King was shouting at Shakey Jake:
"... just get these people away from my equipment. This is intolerable."
"What is going on? Who are these people and why isn't the studio ready?" Ben asked.
"Hey chill man. Its just the band man. I asked them here to play on the album man. Like jammin' with us" Jake replied. One of the band staggered to his feet, put his arms around Katie and shoved a massive spliff in her mouth:
"Hey babe have a toke. But don't bogart the joint" he mumbled.
"I am NOT having these lowbrow individuals play on my album" Ben shouted. Jake looked puzzled:
"Hey Ben don't be an uptight fink man. Chill. Have a tab *offered Ben a tab of acid*" Ben took the tab from Jake and turned to the others:
"I have an idea. Jake's irresponsible behaviour may actually have given us the means to turn around our situation. *to Jonathan King* Mr King, am I right that this studio used to be used for television work?"
"Er yes. All the cameras and stuff are still in the store room".

A short time later Jake and his band had set up the tv cameras in the old studio while Corinne Shaw and Paul Farraday arrived from Operation Delta HQ with a laptop-like device. Ben smiled:
"Ah. The overrider we borrowed from Torchwood. Connect this thing up and we can broadcast immediately on all TV channels. Here we go!"
Lin Sang made Drake take the acid tab at pistol point and then they waited. After a few minutes Drake began rambling to himself:
"Like wow its great. I feel I'm floating on a sea of tranquility. Everyone should take acid. Yeah. I'm drifting on the crystal wind".
The cameras were on and the footage going out live. The band sat around Drake as he shared joints with them. At one point he shouted out to Lin Sang:
"Hey babe come and join us. You're a cute girl".
"I not a girl, I beautiful Thai Ladyboy" Lin Sang replied, coyly sitting on Drake's knee. Katie Ryan laughed:
"This is superb footage Ben. Drake is getting a taste of his own medicine. When the public see him taking drugs and cavorting with a Ladyboy his career will be over!"
Ben shouted over to Drake:
"Mr Drake, please tell us and the viewing public where the aliens are based that you and your government have been working for". Drake looked up from kissng LIn Sang and grinned:
"Heyyyyy theyyyyy've like got a ship under the sea just off Walton on the Naze. Its hidden by a cloaking device........"
Ben flicks his hair back:
"Contact UNIT ! Its time for the final showdown!!!!"

...............to be continued

Wow.

sparacus wrote:John Drake sat back in his chair and laughed.

He must have been watching this.

The producer Jonathan King

Where did he come from?

Its time for the final showdown!!!!"

Ooooh!!!!!

sparacus wrote:
Ok folks, here is the next part of this epic story. Imagine that you are watching it on screen on a warm summer Saturday evening at 6pm.

I tried that, then found it wasn't long before I was desperately flicking through the channels looking for something else to watch.

Nick Barlow wrote:

sparacus wrote:
Ok folks, here is the next part of this epic story. Imagine that you are watching it on screen on a warm summer Saturday evening at 6pm.

I tried that, then found it wasn't long before I was desperately flicking through the channels looking for something else to watch.

Odd comment. Why would you wish to watch something else rather than a high quality Doctor Who spin off?

A very reasonable question Emperor.

*nods*

sparacus wrote:a high quality Doctor Who spin off?

You keep using those words. I do not think they mean what you think they mean.

As you wish.

But...Unit!

*is unreasonbly excited*

Aspadistra wrote:As you wish.

But...Unit!

*is unreasonbly excited*

Don't get too excited. It'll probably be another 3 months before the next instalment turns up...